Inaba of Hell
by forteAntonia
Summary: After a series of questionable decisions, some courtesy of her dream self, Reisen finds herself without a job and with rather limited employment possibilities – until an all too familiar being presents her with a fresh opportunity. It shouldn't be challenging in the slightest, after all Reisen is no longer a moon rabbit, and bygones can stay bygones.
1. Chapter 1

In hindsight, not enough thought went into some decisions.

Maybe a bit less than not enough, to be perfectly honest. That statement implies some actual thought did go into this, which was not the case – this decision was made in the spur of the moment. A scolding which wouldn't even make it to the top fifty of worst she ever received – to be fair out of these at least thirty were related to what she'd describe as miscellaneous customer service issues - became the straw that broke the camel's back. After a couple decades of continuous faithful service as what some would describe as a sniveling toady, but which Reisen herself had always described as apprentice when asked, she quit her job.

In theory, this wasn't too bad – there was no better symbolic way of showing she has severed all ties with her past and truly became a rabbit of Earth. Tragically, while Gensokyo was a rather welcoming place, making ends meet in the way Reisen preferred to – that is, without getting her hands too dirty - without being affiliated with a larger faction, was nearly impossible, which at the moment seemed considerably more significant than debating complex identity issues. And to make things worse, her options for joining a prominent group were, to put it lightly, limited. Recent outbursts of almost militant antitheism courtesy of her dream self would make a sudden desire to study the tenants of buddhism, taoism or whichever new faith managed to awaken a saint this month rather suspicious. Humans at the village would likely fear infiltration if she kept asking there. Her only attempt, on the very same day as her retreat from Eientei, resulted in many questions about Eirin's medicine, which made her realize her ingenious human disguise was considerably less crafty than she imagined, considering she was still recognized by past customers and their families now, in her usual blazer and skirt, and with unsightly ears sticking up high into the air.

After a week or so of unsuccessful attempts at finding a place to stay, Reisen was about to start pondering if her philosophical opposition to the lifestyle of nondescript forest yokai wasn't a bit unfounded. Sure, cannibalism and occasionally losing humanoid shape uncontrollably were definitely downsides, as was the absolute lack of self-awareness these pitiful creatures seemed to display, but at the same time the simplicity of their lifestyle kept so many worries away...

Her state definitely would attract whichever cosmic force was responsible for aiding pitiful small entities in need very soon, if a considerably more bombastic cosmic force didn't decide to pay her a perfectly timed visit, effectively taking her off the radar of any higher power.

Reality itself cracked at the edges as Hecatia Lapislazuli, officially appointed Goddess of Hell and less officially legal guardian of at least one fairy, manifested right next to Reisen's makeshift hideout. Vibrantly colored spheres orbited her head and a brand new t-shirt bought from a self-proclaimed human prophet a few days earlier proudly announced her belief in „saurian invasion from hells" to anyone who'd actually attempt to read the inscription, written in a font whose creator presumably intended to meticulously eradicate any and all rules of typography with each line drawn. Easily her best find in ages. She was a bit disappointed the vendor couldn't find a matching kid-sized one that she could gift to Clownpiece, but sadly the world isn't perfect.

"Hey, rabbit. I heard from my sources you're looking for a job", she proclaimed cheerfully.

Reisen, suddenly roused from her meditations, was mortified. Surely this was going to be her end – having heard of her new unfortunate circumstances, ancient enemy of the moon came to settle the score and finish her off when she was at her most vulnerable, despite earlier promises of nonaggression. Thinking quickly, the rabbit stood up and reached into her pocket and pulled out the raygun.

"I'm not going down without a fight!", she shouted, her hands shaking.

"Hey, chill. I just wanted to talk", groaned her visitor.

"I don't trust you!"

"Well, that's fair, but if you think you are doomed anyway can't you spare a few minutes to at least listen to me?"

"Okay", mumbled Reisen, lowering her weapon.

"Great. You see, I heard from a few dream world information brokers that my old adversary is left jobless, alone, wandering the wilderness inhabited only by cannibals and minor gods with strange stem vegetable obsessions, and of course being the nice person i am i decided to check myself and offer you help if needed, after all it's hard to get a worthy opponent nowadays, and you have certainly proven yourself to be one – besides, we parted ways pretty much as friends, didn't we?"

"Is your sweet talk supposed to fool me so that you can strike when I no longer expect it?"

"What? No, of course not. I genuinely want to give you a job"

"What sort of job?", asked Reisen, probably a bit more enthusiastically than she should considering her worries from mere seconds ago. Hecatia decided to pretend she didn't notice that.

„I need a live-in caretaker for Junko. I usually do this myself but hell became really busy lately. And there's one more reason but this is not the time and place to discuss it, as much as I'd like to do some sightseeing around Gensokyo – it's a nice break after the monotonous landscape of the moon. I'm almost sad I didn't spend my holidays here instead of helping Junko in her invasion... But enough about that, if you want to know more about the issue at hand, you'll have to go with me."

"Didn't you two try to kill me?"

"Oh, come on, it was just a game, I didn't even use one percent on my power. Besides, we told you right afterwards there's no bad blood between us anymore, don't you remember?"

"It's not like I have any other options...", the rabbit sighed with resignation. She had no reason to act this way, as weird as it sounds the ending of their previous encounter really wasn't all that unpleasant. And she really, really needed to find a new place to stay anyway. Befriending past enemies seemed to work well for the shrine maiden, so why shouldn't she try the same? Just for a bit, to gain the stability necessary to be able to go back to Gensokyo and enjoy a life free from woe and lunar influence, of course.

"Great. Let's depart, then. I prepared the paperwork in advance so you just need to... well, go to hell with me. And meet with your yama because I want to do it all according to their rulers, so that nobody complains."

Reisen recollected her brief meeting with Eiki Shiki, Yamaxanadu, judge, jury and overworked secretary all rolled into one.

"Our... yama? The yamaxanadu?", she asked, surprised by Hecatia's carefree tone. Even senior yokai dreaded Eiki. However, this feeling was quickly replaced by another one – deep satisfaction. Yes, OUR yama. Finally, someone saw her the way she wanted to be seen – as a denizen of Gensokyo, not a temporary runaway from the moon. A rabbit of Earth.

"Yeah, that one. Honestly this is the first time I have to deal with them directly in what feels like a millennium. I don't even actually know that girl we have to visit, she got promoted mere centuries ago after spending a few thousands of years as an assistant to a senior yama – which meant she had to fill in for the old geezer constantly for a friction of the pay, while still balancing her own duties. You know, the usual intern routine. I heard that made her really strict and old-fashioned, even by their standards, but it shouldn't be much of a problem when you have me at your side."

"I see...", murmured Reisen as she tried to evaluate the potential risks. Yamas were not to be taken lightly, and the goddess' dismissive attitude of them probably wasn't just empty boasting. Earning a powerful benefactor like that, on top of giving her the desired stability for some time, should also at least give her a small chance of survival if her recent decisions will end up invoking Eirin's wrath – something she didn't really consider before, but what suddenly dawned to her now. And she knew all too well what her wrath would result in, she heard the tale about the fate of emissaries sent to bargain with Eientei in the past. Every moon rabbit did, certain stories spread fast, and certain kinds of people – and lagomorphs – love to gossip, especially about gruesome topics. In comparison, the unknown dangers of hell seemed preferable. Back during her military service, she already witnessed the horrors of the alleged dwellings of the highest gods, and if hell was the polar opposite to that according to religious dogma of the earthlings, it had to be a somewhat chaotic, but overall reasonably nice place. Also, after what happened recently, she wanted to get as far as possible from the moon for a bit – and hell surely was even further away than Gensokyo? As much as the double deserter enjoyed the idea of living here, disappearing for a few months didn't sound bad. Especially if it wouldn't change the fact she was finally identified by someone else as an earthling, like she dreamed of for a few years already.

"So, what's your choice?", asked Hecatia with a smile on her face.

"I might as well give in. Take me with you."

"I knew you'll make the right choice. Take my hand, I left my other body at our first goal today so I can take you there in a split second."

In a flash of light, both of them disappeared.

The landing was soft, thankfully. Former moon rabbit looked around nervously, while the goddess of hell readjusted her collection of floating globes. It took a bit to get accustomed to the dim light – what was seemingly early afternoon was comparable to twilight in Gensokyo. Sun, much smaller than the one she was accustomed to, was hidden behind heavy pitch black clouds, seemingly hanging pretty low – the spires of a humongous building vaguely resembling a considerably enlarged buddhist temple rearranged a few times by someone really, really enthusiastic about flames and skeletons and then once again by a heartless architect churning out identical blueprints for sad, empty office buildings, pierced the cloud layer, as far as Reisen could tell. They seemingly were on its patio; multiple heavy doors lead into the unknown depths.

"What is this place?"

"We're in Naraka. The informal capital of yama-controlled part of hell and headquarters of the Ministry of Right and Wrong – creative naming sadly isn't one of their strengths. I don't think this is why some old lords of hell see them as unworthy upstarts, but you can never be sure with some of them."

"How about you? How do you feel about them – on a personal level, that is?"

"I don't really mind. Playing along with them is fun and they're pretty pleasant compared to some other bigwigs, even though their attitude can be annoying. And I appreciate their sense of aesthetics quite a bit", said Hecatia, pointing at one of the doors, decorated with an elaborate relief of Citipati, cheerfully inviting the dead and living alike to come inside. "I'll answer all your questions later, for now follow me, we have to get to our meeting on time."

Finding the right room took almost an hour, not because the Ministry was poorly organized, but because of the sheer size of it. Countless corridors branched out into smaller and smaller ones in the wing of the building dealing with otherworlds, and since Gensokyo only existed as a separate realm for a brief moment by the standards of eternal beings such as the judges of the dead, the department dealing with it was located in a far flung area. Reisen lost count of the staircases they crossed and at times could swear they're going in circles – monotonous interior design, kept in a rather limited palette, and repeated endlessly identical sets of the same statues of prominent past reformers and codifiers of the thousands upon thousands of articles of hell law definitely didn't help – but her guide seemingly had no issue navigating through this place. While a few yamas and other entities employed by the Ministry, most of whom belonged to species unseen outside hell within the last few centuries, seemed to observe them as they passed by, most instantly turning away after catching a glimpse of Hecatia.

When they finally arrived at the right floor, a fairy dressed in a rough approximation of a full yama uniform informed them that her holiness Eiki will be ready to see them in a few minutes; until then, they're free to rest in the dedicated waiting room, which, as it turned out, consisted out of two chairs in the corridor, right next to the yamaxandu's office.

„Last time I had to deal with the ministry was also due to Junko, funnily enough", recollected Hecatia, flipping through fliers left behind by the fairy porter, most of which urged young yamas to pursue work in freshly acquired Hell of Flaming Rooster and similar eerie locations at the outskirts of metaphorical civilized world – or civilized hell, perhaps.. "She felt homesick and I wanted to bring her her old house – that's where you'll work and live by the way, my palace is off limits at the moment, still didn't clean up the supplies for the moon invasion - from Earth. Dealing with the formalities there wasn't much of a problem, a while ago a mansion just disappearing would not raise any questions. The real problem was pushing this through yama bureaucracy – it was still a recent addition to the workings of hell at the time, so they were... even more inflexible than now, to put it lightly. But I managed that, so don't worry. Just leave all of this to me and answer questions earnestly, if she'll have any."

Reisen nodded nervously. She tried to not show fear, but some things were impossible to hide, and anyone familiar with rabbits, regardless of their place of origin, could tell she's worrying – her ears were lowered. While the ruler of hell wasn't an unpleasant companion, and her anecdotes did help a bit with loosening the mood, a general sense of unease which started to settle in when the initial euphoria wore off was hard to get rid of regardless. It all just seemed a bit too easy, surely the meeting will be a fiasco and the yama will send her back to Gensokyo – or worse yet, the moon. It was foolish to think this will work, let alone that powers that be will accept her as an earth rabbit.

"Hey, don't worry too much. Like I said she's a bit old-fashioned, but it's not like she's going to measure your skull to determine if you're prone to burglary or something", said Hecatia with a smile, seemingly in response to her worries..

"She won't?" - the rabbit was genuinely surprised to find out this was, in fact, not a standard practice. Her faith in principles of lunarian occupational medicine received a considerable blow, however she had no time to consider the wider consequences, as the door of the office has finally opened.

"Is petitioner number 119, alongside a sponsor or yama-issued proof of guaranteed employment, here?"

The sponsor in mention pointed silently towards the room.

"T-that would be me...", mumbled Reisen as she moved inside, carefully evaluating her surroundings. It was a small space, barely big enough to fit three chairs, a desk and a few cabinets into it, and thus rather cramped even without the personalized additions to its interior - there had to be a limit to the amount of jizou one can contain into an area of this size, and the resident was very clearly rather keen on not only finding it, but then challenging the notion that it can't be raised. Most likely more than once. Some of them had tiny yama hats themselves.

"Please ignore these statues, their presence here is in accordance with the laws of hell. Take a seat while I prepare everything", mumbled the visibly distressed clerk from behind a pile of documents, each of which contained instructions for a different soul sent to hell. The yamaxanadu seemed less intimidating in her natural habitat than during the rare visits in Gensokyo.

"Chill, i don't really care if they are, as long as this makes you happy. Just give my new underling the paper I wanted."

Eiki saluted awkwardly and pulled a scroll from below her desk. She seemed to avoid her visitors' sight; perhaps she didn't remember that the rabbit was among these who received her lectures during the latest visit to Gensokyo, or maybe the goddess' presence automatically made anyone accompanying her equally dreaded in yama eyes. Despite being at least as tall as Reisen, and barely shorter than Hecatia, who towered above most inhabitants of Gensokyo, the judge seemingly really wanted to appear smaller than she was right now, standing slightly hunched over and keeping her arms close. While the situation was incomprehensible to Reisen, seeing the oher party at least equally, if not more, worried as she was helper her calm down.

In mere minutes, everything was prepared, and after both sides and the permission-issuing body – that is, the yamaxandu – familiarized themselves with the contents of the agreement – rather lax, it should be noted – signatures and an official seal were placed. Freshly established employer of a caretaker for a third party described in detail in additional documentation quickly collected the scroll and started carefully maneuvering across the room to not enter collision course with any statues; a sudden question stopped her in her tracks, however, resulting in one of the small jizou being knocked over by levitating moon. Reisen hoped that if there was a miniature lunar capital on it, it perished in this confrontation with USS Bodhisattva Statue.

"Lady Hecatia, I know you are in a hurry, but... May I ask about... the war?", asked Eiki slowly, stuttering through the second part of the question.

The goddess of hell turned around, narrowly missing another of the jizou with her otherworld orb.

"There's no war, don't you worry. Your shinigamis are in panic over nothing, small time yamas like you don't need to think too much about it at the time. Stick to doing your job as usual", she replied without a single hint of doubt.

"Really, lady Hecatia?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure. And even if something happens, I got your back, don't worry. Now pardon us, there's work to be done."

"Of course! For hell to remain fully operational, we must all do our job with uttermost care! Farewell, lady Hecatia!", proclaimed the yamaxanadu enthusiastically, seemingly back in high spirits, before disappearing behind her documents again. While the lower yamas by principle dreaded the older lords of hell, their words – or at least the word of this particular one – had a certain weight to them, enough to quell many fears. Despite her immense power, Hecatia, goddess of crossroads, household affairs, witchcraft and anything else other deities didn't claim quickly enough or – more commonly - considered beneath them, didn't rise to the top just through brute strength and elimination of rivals, unlike many other rulers of the realm, including the Ten Kings themselves – she was principled, willing to play by the rules set by other people (at least sometimes), and genuinely seemed to have the best interest of both her subjects and the general public of hell in her mind, and that was enough for many younger yamas – these whose position had to be maintained through dedication and personal virtue, and weren't simply bestowed upon them as birthright, as per the case with the oldest generations - to trust her more than any other higher authority, despite official adherence to the policy recognizing no outside authority in Hell unless it submits to the Ministry and helps in reinstating the alleged lost golden age.

Arguably the fact that she was Hell's prime celebrity was a factor too.

Leaving the building was much faster than navigating through it before made it seem.

The news was likely spreading fast as this time the clerks they saw along the way on the lower floors didn't stop in their tracks or turn around. The visitors quietly crossed corridor after corridor, staircase after staircase, until the familiar heavy door became visible – the insides were decorated with similar motif, accompanied by a handwritten note .

Once both women reached the patio again, Reisen decided to break the silence.

"I have two questions. First, what did the talk about the war mean? I already deserted a couple times so I hope it's not more of the same awaiting me..."

"Oh, no , of course not. It's just a cold war, so to speak, and it's not new. There are certain... subsidiaries of the Ministry who insist on escalation, but I'm getting involved to prevent that – and for the sake of that I need to visit the depths of Avici, you see, hence my offer for you", she smiled. "Some of the yamas call it the hell of no return and only discuss it in hushes tones, but the official ministry line is that while the torment of sinners in these hells will last much longer than average, eventually they too will become a part of the system, and thus it'll be possible to rehabilitate everyone – obviously this doesn't take into account that many of the deep hells were formed by sinners in the first place and they'd rather stay there engaging in debauchery for eternity. While I have no problem with it, I'd rather keep the hells I have no real issue with intact, so the logical choice is to do what's the best for the Ministry right now, in order to keep the worst on all sides from gaining more influence."

The lunar emigre smirked. Pure selflessness and no ulterior motive, as if she was going to ever believe that. Decades of both willing and unwilling participation in elaborate schemes and power plays taught her all she needed to know to evaluate the situation.

"And this will let you push your own ideas as well, am I right?"

"You're not wrong, I do have my own plans and my own vision of hell, but I have a lot if time. They can wait. Anyway, what's the second question?"

„Why exactly do you want me to become Junko's... caretaker?", asked Reisen quickly, concluding it's not the best idea to pursue further information on the other topic.

„Oh, it's a long story, but since it will take a while to reach her place, I can tell you on the way. If you want me to go into detail, that is."

Freshly established caretaker nodded. It's not like there was much entertainment available to her, and gathering more information about the new job won't hurt.

„It all started long ago, when I fell in love...", began Hecatia.


	2. Chapter 2

Reisen's knowledge of topics linked to love was somewhat limited, though it was not entirely an uncharted territory to her, either. Tragically, the mandatory lunar seminar covering it, courtesy of the Watatsukis, planted a rather warped image of interpersonal relationships in her mind, and multiple years spent in Gensokyo didn't undo all of it yet, and at times in fact only contributed to reinforcing confusion. Various profound phrases flew through her mind as she tried to reconnect past lectures about the risks of declining moon rabbit birthrate for defense capabilities of the Moon and Yorihime's presentation on the lifestyle she deemed being a „wife with a traditional purpose", alongside half remembered images from her daily errands among both the humans and yokai of Gensokyo – both areas alien in different ways, as much as she wanted to believe she could one day become a part of the latter with enough effort.

"Wait, technically it started with my short-lived gig in the greco-bactrian kingdom, or whatever they call it now. Or rather its abrupt end", Hecatia corrected herself quickly. "You see, i assumed buddhism will be just a phase, but over the course of maybe one generation of humans it became clear they're winning over hellenism – so i jumped the ship. Great move for my career, looking back at it."

„I'm not following", Reisen admitted. There's time and place to pretend to be more knowledgeable than in reality, but this was not one of them, based on the atmosphere. She wasn't sure what was more incomprehensible to her – the esoteric historical context, or the feelings described.

„I haven't finished yet. I'm trying to figure out how to best describe the events, you see. Nobody ever heard this story before."

„I'm honored", said the rabbit without much conviction in own words.

"During one of my forays further east meant to prepare me for switching allegiances and making the body you see now the default one, rather than a mere emergency backup it initially was, I met Junko for the first time...", started Hecatia. She floated a couple dozen centimers above ground, which resulted the need to occasionally dodge street signs and lamp posts for her satellites. "She was pursuing alchemical secrets while I was seeking a way to anchor myself into buddhist beliefs – wasn't my first time at harnessing syncretism, by the way, I took over old Ereshikagal's post before, though to be fair that was easier since she wanted to quit anyway – but somehow, despite different interests, me and Junko managed to become fast friends."

The surroundings gradually changed as they moved past the yama-controlled territory. Offices and tenement buildings covered in predominantly buddhist iconography, complete with gigantic murals of various eerily specific hells – some of them serving as ads for jobs in far off posts of the Ministry's domains, other merely offers of travel agencies aimed at yamas and their underlings, naturally nationally owned to secure every tiniest bit of funds possible remains in internal circulation to keep the various hells running (this only applied to funds that didn't belong directly to the Ten Kings themselves or some of their relatives or trusted associates, of course – these funds were instead put to use through a network of real estate developers in heaven, dream world and other prestigious locations, including even some in the human world, ensuring a steady stream of revenue - none of which ever reached the clerks and subsidiaries of the Ministry dealing with its trivial day to day affairs) were being replaced by more subdued, but clearly also considerably more ancient buildings, bearing all the mildly repetitive traits common among all hellenic cities of antiquity, especially the influence of solid, simple zoroastrian architecture, which all the old inhabitants would deny, right after contracting some Parthian to redesign their local temple in a style closer to the ones dedicated to Ahura Mazda.

"This city around us is where we first met – it was the kingdom's frontier, where people from all over the known world came to trade, study and so on. As it was eventually abandoned and forgotten, it was easy for me to move it into this otherworld to serve as core of my domain. Each place here tells a story from back then, for example this one we just passed by is the tavern where we both rented rooms at that time... Well, most of the time we only really needed one", explained Hecatia quickly, gesticulating at a house which seemed completely unremarkable from an outsider perspective and virtually impossible to tell apart from the rest.

Reisen listened to the tales revealing a bit more from goddess' private life than she wanted to know in contemplation as they crossed the arteries of the city – as she learned from a seemingly hand-drawn poster nailed to an ornate door decorated with floral motifs, its name was Eucratideia, and she was "wǝllcome" here. The text was accompanied by a drawing depicting a smiling stick figure with mysterious colorful orbs sorrounding its head, clearly drawn by a child – or, perhaps, a fairy, which would generally amount to the same.

While in the yama capital the streets seemed almost empty – the fabled street vendors mentioned in many legends circulating around Gensokyo presumably worked far away from there, in parts of Naraka where there was a steady flow of visitors, envoys and damned souls, rather than in residential districts, largely empty in the Ministry's working hours – within Hecatia's domain they seemed to be swarmed with fairies and various artifacts left behind by them, like a flower field back in Gensokyo would be. Fairies of metamorphic rock, of sulfur, and anything else that any culture thought hell might need, of course, rather than the conventional fairies of seasons and habitats common on Earth. The environments of various hells were ultimately just a materialized product of thousands of years of human imagination and fear, but even fictional nature will eventually give birth to countless sprites.

Based on Reisen's understanding of fairy culture and customs, if these behaviors can even be referred to as such, their clothes tend to generally be somewhat incoherent combinations of styles they observe among other groups living alongside them, these however looked rather ragtag even by standards of their kin – though arguably none could match the sheer horror of that one she had to face on the Moon back then, thankfully; this gave her a tiny bit of much needed hope. Their shirts and tunics seemed to present various ideological manifestos, incomprehensible to minds unfamiliar with the depths of hell's counter-cultural scene, since times immemorial dominated by a single influencer. Most kept their distance, though some approached them to greet Hecatia.

„I could go on and on and describe many other happy moments to you, but as evidenced by what you saw back on the Moon, Junko of old is no more", exclaimed Hecatia suddenly after describing another blissful day, presumably having decided her companion heard enough about her past romantic endeavors. "I could've stopped it all back then but I was young and naive and I didn't. I didn't even ask why her family ordered her to return home, I didn't offer to accompany her there, and I only learned what happened to what turned out to be an arranged marriage between her and some schmuck who jumped at first opportunity to marry into a goddamn lunarian clan years later, when I was already the firmly established absolute goddess of Hell. I know you are aware of what happened next in Junko's life – the report on your dreams I commissioned put a lot of emphasis on it - so I will not repeat it now", she paused, visibly agitated by some unpleasant thought, but instantly returned to explaining. "While centuries have passed since I stopped hoping Junko will be again able return my feelings – and truth to be told, maybe the feelings themselves faded away a bit with time – i still feel obliged to, if nothing else, at least take care of her. And maybe, step by step, let her regain her old self – that's why I needed you here."

„Oh, this is all a misunderstanding then, my medical knowledge is limited and while i give no guarantee that she'll be willing to listen to you, I'm sure Eirin can offer both antidepressants for you, and maybe even some sort of cure to whatever traditional illness of old age Junko is suffering from, though the treatment is still experimental as far as I can tell. Yokai don't get Alzheimer's and there are too few elderly humans in Gensokyo to test it effectively, you see..." Slightly overwhelmed by the sudden change in Hecatia's tone and demeanor, the rabbit was unsure what to reply, and subconsciously slipped back into the well memorized medicine seller routine.

„No, this is something only you can do, as far as I am aware, ąnd I'm basically sure I'm aware of everything with even just vague relation to Junko. Besides, it's not about medicine, it's strictly about you as a person. When we met in the dream world, you... inspired rather strong emotional response in Junko. And I saw a little bit of her from back then in her moment of enthusiasm. I know there's no guarantee this will work but I want to try", replied the goddess calmly, seemingly no trace of the brief outburst visible on her face anymore.

To avoid the unpleasant feeling of sinking under the weight of the expectations placed upon the shoulders (perhaps not the most feeble ones around thanks to a long history of extensive military drills, exercise and devastating treks through wilderness of Gensokyo – but maybe still too feeble nonetheless for what was awaiting her?), Reisen stopped and looked behind to check if the building where she started her journey from hell is still visible, but as far as her eyes could see were only the even rows of hellenic houses – and she was fairly certain her eyesight didn't get any worse than it was last week, which should be enough to see the humongous structure placed maybe two hours by foot away, if she was not mistaken.

"How did this happen", she muttered. Despite decades spent among supernatural phenomena, she still didn't particularly enjoy experiencing them.

"It's a feature of hell. Don't think about it too much. You might never reach the end no matter how hard to try, but you absolutely can reach specific points pretty fast when needed, if the circumstances are right", Hecatia gleefully explained, instantly realizing what's the matter – all newcomers acted similar about this, no matter how well she tried to prepare them for dealing with the geography of her domain in advance (for this reason she no longer prepared them in advance). "How do you like the architecture around here, by the way? Generally I'm a fan of modernization, but as you already learned these hold a lot of sentimental value to me for various reasons, both personal and professional, so i don't plan any updates to my domain for the time being. You can think of it as an open-air museum, i suppose."

The fairy graffiti covering many walls and doors arguably didn't enhance the museal quality of the city, but as Reisen concluded, going by Hecatia's fashion sense she probably considered it a welcome addition, especially considering how many signs and slogans incorporated into it almost definitely originated from her t-shirts.

"Anyway, turn around. We've almost reached out destination", said the goddess, pointing at a nearby house. Much more colorful than the neutral beige and gray of the imported lost city (but free from street art), it reminded Reisen of the vintage lunar architecture a bit – the roof shape, the round windows, the symmetrical thin red columns...

"This doesn't quite fit with the rest of my collection, it's early Tang, couple of centuries off compared to the other buildings. Tragically by the time i managed to track it down it was redecorated four times and abandoned thrice, but since I managed to replicate the insides quite well, Junko didn't seem to mind much – to be fair she was still in a catatonic state back then, managing to pull her out of that was probably my biggest victory – it was the mention of of a risk of war with the moon over them shooting down a couple of suns, I reckon. I've been trying to make her slowly move further ever since, but largely to no avail... That's why I have such high hopes for you", she smiled. Reisen was unsure if this was reassuring or threatening. Maybe both.

Two fairies stood guard at the gate; while from a distance they didn't seem much different from their brethren, upon closer examination Reisen noticed their dresses had a variety of crude pieces of metals of uncertain origin riveted between layers of fabric in a rough approximation of brigandine armor; both wore battered and brightly painted kettle hats, too.

"Master, we stood guard as requested when you were gone! It was fun!", shouted the one to their left, presumably due to seniority allowed to put a ribbon on top of her helmet.

"Thank you, you're free to continue", replied Hecatia, which resulted in another burst of enthusiastic fairy chatter.

They passed through the gate, decorated with bronze door knockers, and entered the mansion's courtyard; three pairs of doors, all of them open, lead from there into different parts of the building.

„Hey, Junko, are you awake? I brought the promised replacement for when I'll be gone. I'm sure you'll like her!", exclaimed Hecatia cheerfully.

In split second, Junko manifested before them; as Reisen noted, she looked considerably less intimidating here than back on the Moon, despite the unnaturally fast motion. Lack of an aura of raging purple flames the fact she was and standing firmly on the ground, rather than levitating, probably helped – she didn't look freakishly tall anymore as a result. Faint smile on her face seemed almost friendly – as friendly as possible for someone Reisen knew as number 7 on the list of greatest threats to lunarian society (Spots from 1 to 6 were occupied by various fascinating health problems uncommon among the population of Earth as a whole, but rather widespread among groups possessing what can be only described as a certain Charles V Habsburg-like charm). Bit of a shame she was only informed about this after having to face her – keeping this sort of information secret until her return from the besieged lunar capital wasn't the only cause behind the decision to quit, but definitely contributed to it.

„What is your name, rabbit?" Junko's voice lacked anything resembling a defined tone; lack of emotion itself was the only emotion it expressed. „I have a hard time remembering. But I do remember you", she exclaimed calmly, weighing each word.


	3. Chapter 3

"Reisen Udongein Inaba.", Reisen introduced herself.

"That's a plethora of names. Is it fine to simply call you Reisen? I am not sure if I can keep track otherwise..."

How she was referred to was usually imposed upon her without any consultations, and the rabbit never really thought much about names and their impact on her state. Currently, as a result of Junko's unexpected question, a chain reaction was occurring deep in her memory, suggesting the right course of action. It's rather surprising how many ways to rebel one can find once such a decision finally leaves the preparation stage and becomes reality.

Bestowed upon her by Kaguya's complete and utter ineptitude when it came to viewing others as individuals and not slightly more troublesome furniture, "Inaba" stood for being completely expendable and not worth paying much attention to. "Udongein" - for the ill-fated purity of the Moon, as measured by some sort of fig tree. In which way could a tree measure metaphysical values was a mystery to the rabbit, and in part fuelled her distrust of religious institutions. Frankly, this mythical purity as a whole was pretty puzzling to her— nobody on the moon seemed to know what it's actually about. All that mattered to them was that whoever didn't spend their entire life in pursuit of it was clearly of inferior extraction. If she had to describe it based on her observations of the Watatsukis and their husbands, at the core of this idea were arranged marriages guaranteeing each Lunarian had ancestors simultaneously fulfilling multiple roles on the family tree. When it came to Eirin and other lesser Lunar sages, it might've been enshrining baffling Lunarian values as part of scientific truth (if scientific truth objected, sucks to be her). And finally there was the ever-present, overwhelming kind of purity which rendered Reisen's own ilk second class citizens. Or perhaps something even worse, as it was hard to talk about the concept of citizenship in the context of the Lunar civilization in the first place. There was either divine right to rule or the fate of something barely better than an object, with nothing in between. For majority of true Lunarians, the rabbits were essentially living sandbags meant to serve their purpose and die at a hypothetical front if the peace of the capital was to be endangered by an excursion from outside. For these few regarded as benevolent, they additionally could also be something akin to uncommon potted plants, displayed in their palaces and praised for rare physical traits. The more she learned about the paths people could choose from in the impure lands, the less appalling these options, available to her previously, seemed.

Taking all of that into account, there was no real reason to object to the rare opportunity to leave the most deeply rooted symbol of that philosophy behind in favour of only ever being referred to with her birth name, at least during her stay here. If anything, it might push her closer to her spiritual goal, making this hellish venture more than just a way to hide from any potential consequences of her recent actions. While not quite the same as being a master of own fate in the way the denizens of earth seemed to be, it surely was close enough for someone who only started trying to become like them recently.

"Yes, it's more than fine," she replied quietly.

"As you probably already know now, even though you didn't while we faced each other for the first time, I'm Junko. It's a shame we weren't formally introduced back on the moon. And that we couldn't chat a bit under less stressful circumstances. If we had, I'm sure you'd have realized we have a plenty in common", explained the spirit with a faint smile. Reisen tried to monitor the wavelength of her emotions, but it was nowhere intense enough to determine how sincere this declaration was. Or perhaps it was a matter of said powers gradually fading away ever since she decided Earth was her true home. Or both.

"Now that you know each other's names can we put the rest of this introductory routine for later? Or tomorrow? I don't have much time left today, and there's still... workplace health and safety training to do," Hecatia chimed in, unexpectedly nervously.

"Oh, of course, my bad. I'll go back to my flowers while you show her around, the rest can wait until tomorrow."

Junko disappeared inside the house as quickly as she arrived to greet the visitor before. How exactly did she plan to engage in gardening considering the impractical sleeves of her robe was a mystery to Reisen, but she decided to not question it.

"Phew, this went smoothly, I was a bit worried Junko will get angry after actually seeing the cause of her latest downfall in person again, but it seems she genuinely took a liking to you."

"You didn't actually know how she'll react to seeing me?" asked the rabbit, a bit less shocked than one probably should be in her situation. The bout of silent revolutionary fervor was not over yet, which slightly hampered her need to pay attention to anything else.

"Of course I knew. Or at least I had a decent enough guess", replied her employer. "Anyway, I'll show you your room, and will explain everything you need to know on this job. Follow me," she said, pointing at the door opposite to the one behind which an entity eluding conventional classification presumably engaged in the joys of gardening.

"This is – well, was, now that we'll have you staying here – where I usually spent the night when I didn't sleep at own home. Hope you'll like it, I know it's nothing special, but it should do the trick."

The room was small and was decorated much differently from what Reisen had expected to find inside the medieval building she entered a few moments ago. What must've been a walled-up large round window seemed to be the only part of the room hinting its original character, everything else was presumably meant to reflect the goddess' more modern sensibilities. In one corner, there was a wardrobe, and in the other corner a sturdy bed— covered in sheets that had the same morbid pattern as on the first of Hecatia's t-shirts that Reisen had the questionable pleasure to witness. A desk located between them and a lamp hanging from the ceiling above it completed the room's fixtures.

"There's electricity in Hell?", asked Reisen, surprised by the contraption hanging above her. She wasn't entirely unfamiliar with electric light, but it was fairly uncommon on the Moon, and despite Moriya shrine's efforts, it didn't catch on in Gensokyo either for the most part. At least in the regions available to her, that is— it was hard to tell what the tengu and kappa do in their houses.

"Why wouldn't there be? We don't really have enough sun... suns... for solar panels thanks to the efforts of our dear friends over at the moon, but there's still more than enough geothermal power to go around", explained Hecatia as she floated across the room, opened the wardrobe and handed Reisen a folded black shirt – seemingly one of a pile of many.

"Back in Gensokyo I noticed you have only one change of clothes with you. On top of that your outfit might send some fairies into... overdrive of sorts, due to recent events. They're still unusually hostile to anything related to the Lunarians, I hope you understand. So it's for the best if you'll use the work clothes provided by yours truly."

Reisen nodded silently. The shirt, as it turned out, exclaimed its wearer is impure. In about a dozen living and half a dozen dead languages. The text was arranged chaotically. She sent Hecatia a questioning glare.

"It's an exclusive sample of the next collection I designed, inspired in part by our confrontation. I would actually ask you to model for the adverts, but based on the contract we signed it's impossible for now, I'm afraid. Even though you definitely have the right kind of charm for this. Don't worry though, there'll be plenty of opportunities in the future!"

"I'm overjoyed," she mumbled in response. "Speaking of our agreement, are you going to leave me any... instructions? I don't want to feel like I'm constantly about to diffuse a ticking bomb, even if that about sums up my career until now. With all due respect for your friend, of course."

"Yeah, yeah, of course. Everything you need is in the desk's drawers, including a compilation of information about Junko. I'll leave the contract with you too, just in case."

"Thank you, I will. And starting with tomorrow I'll try my best. I don't really have a choice," sighed the rabbit.

"That's the spirit. I'm sure you'll do well. Now pardon me, duty calls, and I still have to say goodbye to Junko," stated Hecatia and left the room.

After examining the new shirt again and deciding it too can wait until the next day, Reisen sat down at the desk in order to familiarize herself with whatever awaited her within. Due to focusing on Hecatia's overwhelming presence, she didn't notice until now there was a small cork board above it, with multiple newspaper clippings attached. A few were familiar. Presumably the goddess was a fan of the foremost tabloid press titles from Gensokyo. However, the rabbit couldn't recognize any of the other clippings. Some appeared to be from Earth and focused on broadly understood trendsetting, fashion and lifestyle. Tragically, they did not resemble the deeply thought-provoking tomes of earthly knowledge Reisen familiarized herself with during her visits at Kourindou. They undeniably lacked the philosophical finesse she experienced in what must've been the work of the philosopher-kings of the human civilization. Thus, tragically no further ideological revelations pertaining the parameters of ignorance and selfish genes and other such matters were to be made, for the time being, at the very least.

In addition to the generally mundane clippings originating in Gensokyo or elsewhere on Earth, there were a couple rather puzzling ones. Nearly all of them were written in scripts Reisen had never seen before. Most featured photos of Hecatia shaking hands with entities, contact with whom was probably enough for one to be excommunicated from half a dozen faiths at once. It'd appear even the deepest Hells were reasonably happy with the invention of printing press.

Having thoroughly examined the board, Reisen turned her attention towards the drawers. Just as Hecatia said, it turned out they contain resources meant to help her with adapting for a new environment. Plan of the house. Hastily handwritten schedule of Junko's regular day – thankfully it seemed like the average day in hell lasted exactly as long as on Earth. Notes on talking to any officials who might show up to question her. And, last but not least, a softcover book with poorly designed illustration on the front. Not exactly what she expected from a tome of mystic wisdom unavailable anywhere else. A scroll, sure. Grimoire would be fitting, too. But a book akin to these she saw many times in the bargain bin at Kourindou, usually critically surveyed by that weird girl from the village? Unheard of. On the other hand, perhaps this was the chosen form of important tomes on Earth nowadays? After all, the ones which influenced her worldview more than any other work didn't look much different, though obviously their poorly composed covers were meant to be thought-provoking rather than awkward. At least in Reisen's mind.

"Life and Habits of Sagacious Spirits", exclaimed the front cover. "Compiled by Hecatia Lapislazuli". The last two words were glittery.

The back cover featured a profile of the author, explaining to any reader who somehow managed to avoid anything related to Hecatia while living in hell – a feat that at the present seemed to be impossible for Reisen, given the overwhelming nature of the goddess – that she's an accomplished designer, social media influencer, scholar, novelist, philosopher, sorcerer, conqueror and philanthropist. And very humble at that. It additionally informed the unfortunate souls reading it that the printing of exactly 108 numbered copies was published through a company named Kalasutra Vanity Press, which is always keen on finding new, paying customers. "Paying" was similarly glittery as Hecatia's name on the front cover. Some of the glitter fell off under touch, raising many doubts about the quality of the services provided by her benefactor's publishing house of choice.

She flicked through the book, not expecting much from it. Most chapters seemed to cover topics which didn't interest her in the slightest. In excruciating detail at that. Witnessing Junko's danmaku firsthand was more than enough, the philosophical ideas behind it were not needed to understand the accompanying murderous intent.

However, one chapter unexpectedly captivated the attention. The description of Junko's ability, while vague and raising more questions than it answered – questions that without a doubt will be covered by another self-published Hecatia tome, peer-reviewed by the most trustworthy authority there is— two more Hecatias— in due time. This specific kind of purification seemed to vastly differ from the religious purity of the moon. It was, as far as Reisen could tell, rooted in sound, scientific principle. Basically the logical extreme of refining metals. Sure, there was a lot of talk about internal true nature of things and about binding power of names and about spirits entrapped in matter and so on, but it's clearly just Hecatia's writing style. The art itself didn't seem bad. Pretty trustworthy, as far as arcane arts used by ancient Chinese spirits trying to kill her as part of a political conflict she had no direct stakes in go, at the very least. The book vaguely alluded to the possibility that it might also work on living beings, but did not provide any further information.

Reisen's heart started to beat faster as she recalled some of the events which recently unfolded at the moon. Didn't the horrifying fairy mention she was purified, too? Is this why despite lack of anything resembling habitats fairies are usually found in, the ones she had to fight there were all behaving like typical specimens of their kind? Because deep in their hearts, all fairies see themselves as the essence of fairyhood? Following this logic, what would she become under the effect of the same force?

A plan was forming in her head.

Despite her qualms, she had to befriend Junko. Friends, after all, can ask each other for favours. Favours such as experimentally checking if a supernatural force almost used to kill her could instead be used to solve her identity issues, for example.

That must wait, though. For the first time in well over a week, she was finally in an environment enabling her to rest. Reisen turned off the lamp, undressed and folded her clothes carefully, and picked up pajamas decorated with pattern from the wardrobe. She had no clue how time passes in Hell as it was exactly as dark outside now as when she arrived in Naraka, but it didn't matter much – it was definitely late enough for her to sleep.

Elsewhere in Hell, Eiki Shiki, at this moment uncommonly just a civilian on her way back from work, rather than the Yamaxanadu, opened the door to her apartment, one of 108 identical suites in the building. Expansion of the Ministry's area of jurisdiction due to constantly growing number of human souls awaiting reincarnation necessitated urban development on a scale unseen before in any otherworld.

Today's shift lasted 48 hours. The law of hell officially only permitted two consecutive shifts within its boundaries. However, as Higan was not exactly a part of any hell proper, despite being under Ministry's supervision, there was practically no limit to the time she could have to spend judging the souls there.

"You weren't home when I arrived", exclaimed a voice from inside. "But don't worry, I found a way in anyway."

"L-lady Hecatia?", asked Eiki, closing the door behind her. Were they supposed to meet today? Time was getting hard to keep track of.

"No need to be formal, I'm off duty", announced the goddess of Hell and her on-and-off collaborator, currently sitting in front of an ornate desk, an exact copy of the one the judge used at work, but with marginally less jizou serving as glorified paperweights on it.

"Why are you here? I thought you're going to visit the frontiers to negate the risk of open conflict? That's what you promised earlier...", asked the yama, carefully hanging her hat on a peg next to the door. A scroll hanging right next to it depicted a significantly smaller Eiki alongside two regular, unanimated jizou, serving as memorial of her ascension.

"Oh yeah, that." The haphazard orrery attached to Hecatia's choker seemingly synchronized its movement for a brief moment and in no time the Moon orb replaced the one representing Earth. In a flash of light, two of her bodies, separated from each other by dozens of individual hells, swapped places. Save for the hair colour – pale yellow instead of the intense blue which long ago granted her the title she now used in place of a surname – her appearance was exactly the same. Eiki witnessed this many times before, but still couldn't help but applaud the effort the goddess put into always maintaining full consistence between the outfits worn by all three of her bodies, no matter how many world were they separated by at the time. Her fashion preferences were unruly and not entirely fitting for one of the most powerful rulers of hell, but still had some degree of order to them, and the yama appreciated that.

"Check this out, already got two treaties signed. Only took me a single night. I'm good at this," she smiled, raising her right hand to show the clerk an elegant scroll written in red ink and a clay tablet covered in what appeared to be rather crude cuneiform. Rulers of most hells were not particularly deeply invested in keeping up with the human world. "Would be much simpler if someone didn't spend last few centuries believing a bunch of oni with inflated sense of importance are the most fit for representing the Ministry's interests at the frontier. Seriously, who came up with this?"

Eiki knew exactly who did – the same people who thought 6 full shifts one after another are a good idea – but assumed there's no point in stating the obvious. While she firmly believed anyone should be able to join the ranks of the Ministry, the oni – or kishin, as they decided to name themselves – did not seem fit for the job. The heavy focus on subjugation of territory and punitive, rather than rehabilitative, justice didn't sit well with her. Neither did the constant talk about some lost Golden Age of Hell, which they were supposedly bringing back. She wasn't sure if she was simply too young to remember it, or if the older yamas had vastly different views on what constitutes a Golden Age than she did. The abandoned old capital, Youdu, wasn't a particularly pleasant place in her memory. It was a place of punishment rather than justice, and not enough attention was paid to individual souls due to lack of space needed to house them. Seeing the potential relocation of the administrative heart of the Ministry presented squandered in pursuit of mirages did not sit well with her. Thus when Hecatia, an on and off associate of the Ministry, started visiting her office under the pretext of gathering information about the small otherworld under her auspice, she didn't protest. Deep down she already pondered on some level if Hecatia wasn't more fit to run the Ministry than the Ten Kings were. While she'd never admit it, becoming more familiar with her strengthened that impression.

"Great job, lady Hecatia. Sights like this are why I would trust you even without being able to tell the rights and wrongs apart with absolute certainty..."

"Oh yeah, that ability of yours. It's like you're custom tailored to run this circus, huh? I genuinely have no clue how come you spent over a thousand years as jizou secretary third class."

"However, now that you're unexpectedly here, I wanted to voice a few concerns about the plan I agreed to take part in, and which we set in motion... earlier. My authority is at stake here, if this backfires somehow. I have no safety net to fall back on."

"I'm your social safety net. As you know already, the alternative to the Ministry's inept nepotism and authoritarianism is the laissez-faire meritocracy of most other hells. While it's not perfect, it works in your favor if something backfires. Since, you know, I'm in position to evaluate that merit myself as I see fit. This being said, I would prefer you to stay at your current post, so be cautious just in case", sighed Hecatia. The planets orbiting her head switched positions again, sending her earth body and the treaties back where they came from. Now it was the main, red-haired body talking, the true host of the goddess' consciousness. "While I value you as a person, what I need right now is someone who can push my… or rather our ideals through the Ministry, the way you prefer to do it."

"I am aware. The major sections of our organization were recently shaken by a bribery scandal involving some official from Earth and bid to control reincarnation of completely unrelated religious authority. This probably means I won't be investigated closely for the time being, but I will make sure everything happens according the the letter of the law anyway," Eiki explained slowly. "In theory, one example shouldn't be enough to make it possible to start pushing for the reform you want to see. However, given the special status of this case, I'm fairly sure it can qualify as a particularly valuable example. Especially if I'll keep track of the progress Miss Inaba makes in the line of duty."

"Good to hear. I trust you with the legal aspects of the case, I know I picked the best professional for this," replied Hecatia.

"I'm just one of many who help with advancing moderate progress within bounds of the law..." mumbled Eiki. She was not accustomed to being praised for doing her job, and the goddess did it a lot whenever they met. It was by no means unpleasant, but will take a few more decades to get accustomed to, most likely.

"You're absolutely one of a kind. Nobody else could help me with comping up with a way to potentially change the way hell works, ease the suffering of my dearest friend, and push that poor lagomorph towards true freedom," said the goddess, observing the yama's embarrassment caused by her accolades with a faint smile. "It was nice as usual talking to you, but I need to get going. More policy failures to take care of await!"

Hecatia dematerialized from the chair in order to gather all of her bodies in the same place again, far away from the apartment blocs where most of the lowly employees of Hell's self-proclaimed official judiciary lived. Hopefully she did enough to reassure her associate. There obviously were risks, and no real guarantee that she'll be able to prove that sometimes letting in people from outside roam Hell more or less freely can be beneficial. Or letting people from Hell roam freely outside, for that matter. Though this was less concerning, Clownpiece surely will be able to handle this on her own.

All things considered, what's the point of believing in something without trying to prove it?

***  
Reisen wasn't sure for how much she has slept, but as she noticed after changing clothes and leaving her room, the sky looked exactly the same as yesterday. The Sun was hidden behind identical ashen clouds.

The two fairies Reisen saw at the gate yesterday were now bickering in front of the door to her right, which lead to a kitchen and bathroom, according by the plan Hecatia left her. At her sight, they both stopped and turned around.

"Why are your eyes red?" asked the smaller entity.

"Come on, it's obvious. She's a communist!" exclaimed the presumably senior fairy, with absolute certainty. She was currently undergoing her McCarthyist phase, as expected from a bizarre simple-minded entity with morbid interest in Cold War America. "Clownpiece told me all about them."

"Are you a communist?" asked the other fairy, seeing no reason to abandon collection of empirical data just due to a single appeal to authority.


End file.
